The isle of wine and whales

There are certain places in Europe that end up staying on my list, unvisited, for longer than I'd like. It's usually just due to a lack of convenient or reasonably priced flights. Current examples include Corsica, Rhodes, and Luxembourg. One example that remained on the list for a long time was the Portuguese island of Madeira, and I was very excited to finally go and tick it off on my latest family holiday! Generally we go on two family holidays a year; one longer (usually summery) break, and one shorter city break. We're all pretty much over doing any kind of sunbathing, resort-style holidays as the longer break though, so Madeira posed the perfect choice for our longer trip of 2025. We still stuck to 4 nights rather than a full week, but the island offered an old town, dramatic views, the chance for lots of walking, island excursions, whale watching boat trips and plenty more. A far cry from the typical sunbathing holiday, but still with pretty consistently gorgeous weather to boot.

After a few pints at the airport (classic Brits) and a 4ish hour flight, we arrived in Madeira where we were staying at the Hotel Porto Mare. The hotel was seriously beautiful (and massive), and we arrived in perfect timing to see the gorgeous sunset from our balconies. We wanted to try and make the most of the evening so we had a super quick turnaround and then headed straight out for some dinner and a few wines. The second I'm by the sea, it's non-stop seafood at every meal. So I kicked off the holiday with an amazing octopus dish!

I wouldn't say I'm that much of a hotel fanatic in general. I always try to choose places that are in a really good location, and that are clean and pretty. But mostly I stick to a medium budget and don't opt for anywhere too fancy. That being said, I do love going on family holidays because Mum and Dad are bigger appreciators of a gorgeous hotel and so Dad has normally chosen somewhere amazing. This one was no exception - look how beautiful the breakfast room and pool are!

The hotel also had loads of beautiful gardens so we had a little wander around them before stopping for a drink (well, 3 drinks because I'm high maintenance). My impression of Madeira so far was all about how lush and colourful and vibrant it was. So many pretty flowers, including exotic and tropical varieties. 

Then it was time to get picked up for our activity of the day - we were having a tuktuk tour!

We had two tuktuks with a local guide driving each. They were super friendly and told us loads about the island on the drive, including which dishes to try and which to avoid (I'd seen Scabbard fish with banana on every menu but apparently, ~shockingly~, that's just for tourists). Our first stop was the Fortaleza de São João Baptista do Pico; this gorgeous yellow fortress. The views from the fortress were just amazing, and it turns out I'd dressed very aptly for a day in Madeira, as a surprising amount of their architecture is yellow! 

Then we drove through the old town for a cool sneak peek of the place (we explored properly later as you'll see) and we learnt a bit of the history (like the history of the painted doors) as we went.

Madeira is more of a dramatic-cliffs-and-gorgeous-blue-seas place than it is "beachy" per se, but it does have some beach spots. Our next stop was the Praia da Barreirinha; a little beach pavilion you could get a lift down to and sunbathe on. We didn't actually go down, but we admired the views from just above!

It was up, up, up to the best view of them all. The colour of the water in Madeira is stunning and honestly there were no rough or ugly parts at all. Normally when you go away somewhere, there are some less aesthetically pleasing parts, but Funchal seemed completely devoid of ugliness.

We were on our own then, having been dropped off back in the old town by the tuktuks. We started by exploring the Mercado dos Lavradores, a giant market with some really amazing fruit stands, spices, and souvenirs. They did have a little roof terrace where we considered getting a drink, but the other main thing that the market sells is fish. Somehow a relaxing cocktail with the fumes of fish guts didn't feel as appealing as the view. So we dipped out and had a wander down the Rua de Santa Maria to look at the painted doors instead. Although my obsession with rooftop bars is now apparently such that I don't need to find them; they find me. Lots of people stood outside the restaurants on that street beckoning you in, but it wasn't until one guy said 'roof terrace' that my head swivelled round like a barn owl (easiest sell ever for that guy). It was there that I tried my first local specialty. The Nikita is a cocktail of pineapple, ice cream and... beer. Sounds weird. Shouldn't work. Tasted amazing. Don't knock it until you try it.

It was on to our second fortress of the day as we wandered through Forte de São Tiago on our search of lunch. I really loved how colourful and arty Madeira was (much like Portugal's mainland); yellow buildings, murals, pretty printed tiles. It was all gorgeous. I then tried local speciality number 2 and 3 when we stopped for lunch. Poncha is a rum and honey based drink that was invented in a small fishing village, so naturally I got the original 'pescadoro' flavour (lemon). While the Prego was a steak, ham and cheese sandwich on the most amazing garlic bread roll. So far, I was 3 for 3 on loving the local delicacies.

We were at the opposite side of Funchal than our hotel at that point so we had a slow wander back, exploring churches, eating ice cream, passing through a rum festival, and admiring the gardens in the Parque de Santa Catarina on the way. Funchal has its own flag, which is purple and yellow, so the city have planted purple and yellow flowering trees all over; which were in bloom and looking absolutely stunning. They coated the city in this gorgeous purple blanket. Although hilariously they were camera shy. They refused to let the brightness of their colours be accurately captured on photos! It became a sport to try and get the right angle that would get the colour to really pop.

It would seem that a day of quality time had really gotten the boys in tune with each other, as they showed up for the evening in exactly the same outfit! Mum found it particularly amusing and was giggling all the way to the first bar. We stopped for drinks and a bit of live music, then went for an amazing feast at 'Tapas y Copas'. Tapas wasn't massive in Madeira since it's Spanish rather than Portuguese anyway, but this place was lovely and we had some really nice dishes. Naturally I was on the seafood again and pretty much polished off this bowl of clams to myself.

The next day was an adventurous one, and we were picked up bright and early by a 4x4! We stopped for photos at a waterfall viewpoint, and then came to this gorgeous beach with natural pools. The itinerary for the tour involved swimming in the sea and in the pools at this point, but unfortunately the weather was a bit rubbish. My outfit was a little optimistic but I'm not someone who really packs alternatives; my outfits are set in stone once they're in the case! Because it was a bit rainy and too cool for a dip, our tour guide rearranged the day slightly to give us more time in the other areas so this simply became a quick pit stop to admire the views. It hadn't occurred to me up until this point of the trip, but Madeira actually really reminded me of Thailand and Vietnam. Like if I was dropped there and told to guess my location, I'd definitely think I was in South East Asia. Same dramatic hills and valleys. Same exotic plants and wildlife. Same terraced planting space. Same changeable weather. Same European architecture. It especially reminded me of Da Lat, where I went to last November.

Porto Moniz was the next place we stopped at and it's up in the north west corner of Madeira, pretty much opposite Funchal. It's much cooler in the north, which was certainly the case for us. Again, the weather stopped us from going in the natural swimming pools as intended, but we had a lovely wander round the local shops, walked up to the top of the hill to a lovely viewpoint, and then stopped for a drink. I was going to stick with just a coffee since it was 11am, but we were literally in a place called Beerhouse and Dad was getting one so I just had to get a beer. What? - I was on holiday!

We mistakenly thought the next stop on the tour was the last one, because we thought the tour guide was saying it was 'final'. What he was actually saying was Fanal, which is home to the misty forest. As you can see, it's very aptly named! It was cool and I felt like I'd been dropped in an episode of the vampire diaries or something. It was a funny experience as it was raining so the ground was very muddy - we had to tread very carefully to avoid sliding around in the mud or ending up on our bums.

Looking mildly like we'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, we arrived for lunch at a place picked out as part of the tour. It was a themed jungle restaurant so it was a little cheesy but the food was surprisingly good. I opted for the beef skewer (another local favourite) and then went with the holy trinity of drinks again. This time it was coffee, red wine, and poncha (it was an orange flavoured one instead of the classic).

We literally experienced every different season and weather this day, as it was sunny and blue skies by the time we'd finished lunch! So it was time to take the top off the jeep, and really prove why it's an off-roader. We went for a very fun and bumpy journey through the forest, and apparently made the journey in less than half the time it would have taken by car on the standard roads.

I am obsessed with coloured buildings so I was a big fan of the next stop, Ponta Do Sol. It was also the first time of the holiday going in the sea, so we'd officially arrived by this point. Even if it was just to paddle!

It had certainly been a day of gorgeous sightseeing and we'd saved the best (or the most impressive) until last. Cabo Girao is a viewing platform 589 metres above the sea, and the views of the coastline were breathtaking. The sea is such a lovely colour in Madeira! You have to pay to go on the platform itself, which we did, but even the view from the cafe outside the paid area (where we stopped for a drink after) was amazing. I had a nikita again because it really felt like the perfect kind of afternoon treat drink.

You know what else is a perfect afternoon treat drink? Rose sangria. What an absolute delight, especially when the sun is shining. The weather had really decided to play ball by this point, which was perfect timing since a couple of hours chilling by the pool was just what was needed after a busy trekking day.

Getting rained on? Not so hot. Getting rained on when you have naturally curly hair? Actually kind of a time saver - it didn't need styling that night. When we go on family holidays we take it in turns to choose the restaurant and this was my night, so we went for a drink at this cute little chalet-style beer garden, and then went to a place called 'beef and wines'. I bet you can't imagine what they sell. Despite the uncreative name, the food was absolutely amazing. We shared a few starter dishes like oxtail arancini and iberian pork leg, and then me and Dad did the Picanha, which is sliced at your table, seemingly for as many rounds as you like. We all shared though and also got lamb and ribs and a few sides and everything was amazing. I also got a glass of Madeira wine with dessert because I'd been in Madeira for 3 nights by that point and it was starting to feel like a crime that I hadn't had one.

We were a man down on the last day as Aidan wasn't very well, so we were flying as a trio. We'd considered doing the cable car up the hill, as it was a famous thing to do in Funchal and we wanted to go up to the Monte Palace gardens. But the cable car is actually really expensive and an Uber to the top was only like €12. Obviously the views weren't quite as good but we'd had plenty of gorgeous views the day before so we figured we were set.

The gardens were SO worth a visit. They had all different themed sections and it was massive. We started at the thousand year old olive trees, then the oriental gardens, and then walked down to the first little pond where there were flamingos. The colours of this day were amazing. Talking of colour, I was once again doing a pretty good job of matching my outfit to my surroundings. I'd worn blue and the classic blue and white Portuguese tiles were a core pillar of the decor!

The big lake with the palatial house on it was the main attraction and it didn't disappoint. It was really stunning with loads of wisteria climbing along the walkway. There was also a cute little cart selling hollowed out pineapples with pina colada inside. You could also get non alcoholic versions but I'm sure you can guess which I went for.

There were a few more oriental gardens to wander around and you also got a pretty great sea view from the edge of the gardens. I'd say all in all we spent around an hour and a half in the gardens and that was just about right, although you could easily spend longer if you're a real flower fanatic. Definitely worth a trip either way!

We were planning to get a taxi back down to the old town for lunch but not before having a quick nosey at the toboggans. It's tooted as a famous thing to do in Funchal and while it did look like good fun being pushed down, it was an absolutely massive queue so I bet you'd have to wait a couple of hours if you wanted to do it. It also doesn't take you all the way down to the old town or anywhere else of note, so you still have to work out how to get the rest of the way on your own. We were content with just watching others go!

It had clouded over quite a lot by this point, but we had a little wander along the seafront before finding somewhere nice to grab some lunch in the Praca do Municipio. It was a lovely little square and one we hadn't explored when we'd gone to the old town the first time. Weather wise, I would say Madeira is perfect for sun-exploring, but probably not sun-bathing. It changes and clouds over, in and out, throughout the day so if you booked it hoping to just lie around sunning yourself, you may end up disappointed. However, there's loads to do and so if you go hoping to explore the island, ideally in nicer weather than at home, then you'll be onto a winner.

If you've been here before, you know that along with rooftop bars, boats are my thing. So naturally when we were on an island holiday, a boat trip simply had to be on the agenda. Madeira is a very popular place for dolphin and whale watching because of its location in the Atlantic and the deep waters. However, instead of booking a whale/dolphin watching cruise specifically, we opted for a sunset cruise with drinks. The drinks were free flowing (as advertised), the sunset was absolutely beautiful (as advertised)... and we saw some whales! So we got the best of all worlds basically. The guide said we were very lucky as well because the whales we saw were Blainville beaked whales (very dolphiny whales), and they're typically cautious of humans and can stay under water for over 30 minutes. So sightings of them are pretty rare. It was such a lovely way to spend the last evening!

After an evening at sea, there was only one option for dinner. Mountains of seafood! We finally tried some limpets (another local delicacy, very similar to a mussel), and I got a zarzuela seafood stew which was simply divine. We ended the holiday very aptly, with a little tipple of Madeira wine, and a cheers to having finally ticked off such a beautiful destination.